The first time something happens, they will be sorry the next day. This is because they have sober up and more than likely, they have a memory of what they have done or you have told them. They will be sweet and apologetic because they truly are sorry. However, they can promise it will never happen again, but when they drink, they have no control over what they do. It can happen again. This time it might be a little worst then the first time. After the first time, you felt content to believe them, but if it happens again, you have to think about whether or not they really meant it.

Once it happens again, and they say they are sorry, you have to start wondering when it will happen again and again. This is the hardest part of living with an alcoholic. You never know for sure if they mean anything that they say. You start to doubt their love for you and wonder why they never lash out at anyone else. Sometimes they do, but it is rare for an alcoholic to just go off on someone that did not provoke them, accept you.

Then you start to wonder if they will ever say they are sorry and mean it. This is the worst feeling in the world. You are doubting their sincerity and you start to doubt other things that they say to you including that fact that they love you. You start to think how they could do this to you repeatedly if they did love you. Now, you not only live with an alcoholic, you live with the doubt. This can eat away at you to no end. This is when the trust starts to fade.

After years of hearing sorry, you just do not believe them anymore. You doubt every word they say to you and you cannot believe anything that they say to you. The home is no longer a home. It turns into a prison that you made for yourself. You now have more confusion and do not know what to do. You still care for the person, but you wonder if you could ever love that person again. The times of happiness are gone and all you are left with is drinking and broken promises.

You lose all hope and feel all alone. You want to leave, but you feel as if you owe the person something. You can become withdrawn and hopeless. You may even wonder why you should be the only responsible and sober person in the home. You start to feel all alone with no one to turn to for help. You look for answers, but you find emptiness. You wonder what to do next. Your life has not turned out as you expected it to when you first met the person and you need happiness to live. You turn to someone else or you turn to the same demon that took the love from you.

If things are bad, you are scared, and things are out of control, ask for help. Committing the person to a hospital to dry out and have some sessions with a counselor or a doctor is the only way to stop the drinking. There are treatment plans that work very well and the person is never alone. They are always with someone so that they can talk about things. This is the best thing that can happen for both of you. Treatments for alcoholism are intense and they can deal with the withdrawals.

If the health of the alcoholic is in danger, you will need to take steps to get them help. Sometimes an alcoholic will become depressed and withdrawn. You must get them help before they do something stupid or that they will regret. You are the strong one at this time and you must step up and take charge. You will want someone to help you when you take the person to a treatment center. If they refuse to go, you can always ask for help from the police.

This is the hardest thing to do. The reason you are doing it is because you care about the person and you just cannot live this way anymore. It will be hard because you will miss the person, but you have to remember that when they are done is treatment, you will have the person you love back again. Life will not be as it was. This is when you have to remember that it is best for them and the rest of the family. You have to be firm, but not abusive. Yelling is not going to help. Get help if you need it to avoid any problems.

You will feel alone and they will not want anything to do with you right away. This is one of the hardest pats of committing someone for treatment. You just sit and cry because you feel so horrible. However, you have to remember why you did it. You have to tell yourself that you did it because it can help them and bring them back to you. You have to be strong. This would be a good time to visit a group such as Al-Anon and talk with others about how you feel. It does help easy the pain and loss of a mate.

In the end, they will dry out and be happy to be with you again. Once the initial shock is gone and the alcoholic is done with withdraws, they will want to see you. It may take some time, but they do finally clear their minds and want you. They remember your good times together and want you. You can then begin the healing process and start looking ahead. They have to want to move forward, so way for them to tell you when the time is right.

Kids will follow in the footsteps of a parent if they do not understand the consequences. This is not always true, but in most cases, it is what happens. Even if a child does not take after the parent, they may grow up to accept this type of behavior and put their own lives in danger or have nothing but heartache. You have to protect the children so that they know that this is not the way to live. However, sometimes this can be hard to do if you want to remain in the home.

If there is abuse in the home because of alcohol, you need to shield the kids from this abuse. If the abuse is physical, mental or verbal, kids should not have to live with it. it the abuse is watching their parent drink themselves into a drunken state, they need to know that this is not how people should live. As a parent, you have to make a decision whether to stay or take you children somewhere else where they will not be subjected to the abusive behavior or have to watch mom or dad drink themselves to death.

Never tell the kids that drinking is just something you do. It is not something that you just do. They need to understand that alcoholism is a disease that can have devastating affects on the person the family. This is important for children to understand. This does not mean that telling them that their parent is a loser or a bad person. You have to be truthful without being demeaning to the parent with the problem. Children are smart and will know that other families do live as you do.

You may need to leave the home for a while if the drinking leads to abusive behavior. This is the only way to protect the children and make sure that they do not grow up thinking that this is acceptable behavior. You also do not want to keep them in an abusive home. Not all alcoholics drink all the time, but even so, the kids should not be subjected to any abusive behavior from a parent. They also should be told that drinking is all right. As they grow up, they would stand a good chance of following in the footsteps of the alcoholic parent.

Take the kids to Al-Anon so that they have someone other than you to talk with. This is very important so that the kids have someone to talk to and listen to other kids in the same situation. If they have somewhere to go with others their age, it could help them understand what is happening and how to cope with their home life. It can also help them understand if you have to leave the home.

Talk with the kids if they have questions. You have to be honest without being judgmental. The kids will understand more if you talk to them instead of trying to hide the problem. Kids today, know more than what parents knew when they were kids and they see and hear things that they probably should not. This is the reason that you must be honest. Never badmouth the alcoholic parent because the kids could resent you.

When you are talking to the kids, ask them if they have questions and try to answer them the best you can. You can also expect to be asked why mom or dad yells at them or why the person has to do the things that he or she does. Answer honestly and try to help them understand.

If you are having a party, you should have a non-alcohol party. This can be hard to sell to your friends and family, but if they know the situation, they should be more than happy to attend and do without the drinking. In some cases, you might have a smaller party than you wanted. However, you have to think positive. You are doing this for the both of you and not for anyone else. It can be a touchy situation if the family and friends do not know why you are doing this.

If your guests are confused, you can explain or tell them that you do not feel it is appropriate at the time. If they understand the problem, they may be more apt to attend and have a good time without drinking. Not all of the people will accept what you are saying, but in most cases, people that care will be willing to have an alcohol free party. It can be hard for the recovering alcoholic to be around any alcohol and this is the only way you can help. If the person is still drinking, this can save from some embarrassing moments.

Try to attend parties that are not serving alcohol. This is hard if your friends and family drink. Try making some new friends that do not have to drink. In some cases, a person that attends group meetings will make friends with other members and they will enjoy doing things together with their families. This is just another way that groups help the alcoholic. If you have some other things you can do, you do them. Family picnics or even taking the kids on a hike does not require alcohol. Do things that will not tempt the person to drink.

Attend some events where alcohol is not served and have fun. You have to show him or her that you can have fun without drinking. This might be hard to do because the person may be annoyed or depressed because they would rather drink. You just have to enjoy yourself and show them that it is fun to do things without drinking. You could be fighting a losing battle, but at least you will have a few hours without someone being intoxicated. This is great if you have kids.

If you are having a child’s birthday, do not serve alcohol to anyone. People always seem to have alcoholic beverages at a kids birthday parties, but you can refrain and have a party for the kids instead for the adults. Just make it known that this is a party for a kid and you do not feel that alcohol is needed. You could also explain that there are problems with alcohol in the family and you prefer to keep the party free from any drinking.

Be prepared for an attitude from the alcoholic when you attend parties with no alcohol. They can become upset, inattentive, depressed and frigidity. You can only try to enjoy yourself and try to include them in the fun. The alcoholic that needs alcohol will have to start to have fun or suffer. This is harsh, but it is the only way to show them that you are serious about enjoying things without the drinking. It is possible to get them to have fun. You just have to try and include them, but do not force them to try. They will get the picture when they see you enjoying yourself.

Talk with them about what they are doing. This should be done when they are not drinking. You can calmly explain how the drinking is affecting the family. You can tell them how it has affected your children and your own feelings. In most cases, the alcoholic does not even realize what he or she has done to the family. They never take the time to see how their drinking affects anyone. All they know is that they were doing what they wanted to do.

Make sure that the person knows that you will stand by them through this time. This is probably one of the hardest things to do, but if you care about this person, you have to stand by them and offer any support that you can. If they join AA and continue to attend meetings, the 12-step program could bring up some bad memories that you do not want to hear, but you must listen and forgive or at least try. This is the hardest part of the 12-step program. It can bring back some horrible memories that could be very upsetting.

Offer to stop drinking in front of them if you drink. This is important until the alcoholic feels comfortable with what they are accomplishing. If the person is trying to refrain from drinking and attending meetings, you do not want to be drinking in front of him or her. You have to make some changes as well. You cannot sit and drink even a few cocktails in front of them because the urge to drink for them will be strong until they learn how to control those urges. They may have an urge and slip, but you could offer help there as well.

Offer to be with them whenever they feel a need to drink. If they feel the urge to drink coming, you can be there for the person. Make the thoughts and urges go away by offering to go for a walk or to take a ride. If you have never had an addiction, you cannot for a minute understand how the person feels inside. It is hard to control the urge if the person has been drinking for so long. Do something or go to a diner for a few coffees and just talk.

When the person wants to drink, think of something else the two of you could do instead. This is the best thing you could do for someone that wants to quit drinking, but is have problems with it. You have to be strong and offer to listen or just sit and hold their hand. You have to be supportive and do whatever you can to make sure that they have another option to drinking. It is not easy to overcome an addiction, but with your support and the help of a group or treatment, they can succeed.

They offer you the support you need. It is easier to sit in a group and hear others talk. When you do, you might learn a few things about yourself. You may find out that you really care about this person or you might find out that this person has control over you in a way that is not healthy to you. If you have kids or even if you don’t, you will want to find out why you stay and if it for a good reason or a bad reason. No one makes you do anything you do not want to do. They are there to help and listen.

If you want to leave the alcoholic, you need to learn why you stay first. Before you can get up and leave an alcoholic, you need to know why you stay. It might be that you stay because you deeply care about this person and want to help them. Living with an alcoholic can be hard, but if you have love for that person, it can be harder to live with. If you want to leave that person, you have to know why you stayed or hooked up with that person in the first place.

You need to understand why the person has control over you. If you stay with an alcoholic and you have no reason why or it is because you are afraid to be on your own, you need to know how this happened. Is this person controlling you? Is this person verbally abusing you and lowering your self-esteem? Is this person physically abusing you? Do you stay because you are afraid to leave for fear of what will happen? The co-dependency group can help you understand. You need to understand why you stay before you can understand yourself.

When you understand why you stay, you can then begin to help yourself. This is the only way to either live with an alcoholic or leave that person. The co-dependency group offers the support you need to talk about why you stay and what your own fears are. This group is a good way to find yourself. If you have been abused, this group can offer support and advice. You need to have someone to talk to about the problems that you live with every day.

The co-dependency group can help you in more ways that you think. When you attend a group, you will hear other people’s stories. You may even hear your story from someone else’s mouth. You are not alone. There is help for those that live with alcoholics. There are ways to take control of your life and help the other person as well. If you have children, it is especially important that you understand if you have a co-dependency issue.

If you are living with an alcoholic and you do not understand why you stay, you may need to attend a support group for co-dependency. You may not even realize why you stay. You have to understand yourself before you can understand what is happening to you. If you have children, you have to think about them as well as yourself. Maybe you need to take time away from the alcoholic to figure out what keeps you with that person. The co-dependency group can help you resolve any issues you might have before it is to late. Then again, you have to think about everyone concerned.

Sometimes, you just have to leave and try to get over him or her. This can be hard, but after the years of living the way you have been makes it a little easier. You may move out temporarily or permanently. Maybe you think that the person will change if you leave and they have to live on their own. You think that they do not need you anyways so they will probably not even care. This is the hardest feeling to live with for anyone. You may still care, but you do not believe that the person you are leaving does.

They want the alcohol more than they want you. This is hard to accept. You wonder why they would choose drinking over you. The truth hurts and you have to accept that you cannot help the person. No matter what you do, they always seem to find their way back to a bottle. You have to move on if you want a loving relationship. Then they do something that makes you feel all warm inside. They stop drinking for a while and things are wonderful until it starts again. Now, you have to start thinking about leaving all over again.

The hardest thing to do is leave someone that you love, but you have to sometimes. Even if they are wonderful for a time to keep you there with them, you still have to make a change. You have to think about yourself and make decisions that can be hard. The hardest part of living with an alcoholic is leaving them for their own good and yours. Sometimes it is hard to be strong, but you need all the courage you can find to say good-bye. You have to stand tall and have confidence in yourself, which you lost somewhere down the line.

You have to think about yourself. You cannot continue to live in fear or without a partner. You need love. You need companionship. You need to be free from the alcoholism. Even if you are not a drinker, you are affected by the drinking. Sometimes an alcoholic affects you more than the alcohol affects him or her. Even if you are not battered or abused, you are because the alcohol wins. You feel defeated by a bottle.

You lose years of being loved. However, you need to grow old with someone that can love you and cuddle you. You need someone that turns to you and not to a bottle. Living with an alcoholic is not easy and you grow tired of being the only one in the relationship that tries. The only choice you have is to leave and start new. You have to break free of the alcoholic and start a new life with someone that does not need alcohol to live. You need stability in your life for the first time in a long time.

The lies can hurt more than the alcohol addiction. This depends on the type of lies, but if it is about relationships, you can become bitter and may even want to leave the person. The alcoholic can lie about money, work, other relationships or just about every day happenings. You are left behind when the alcoholic lies and tries to hide things from you. The sad thing about this is that you always find out about the lies and when you confront them, they act as if you have loss your mind. In most cases, this is exactly how you feel.

The deceit is something that the alcoholic is good at doing. They can tell you one thing and be doing another. They always feel that they are right and you are wrong. What they do is not deceitful because they are not doing anything wrong. After you live like for a few years, you begin to wonder why you live like this. You want answers, but chances are the answer would be a lie anyway. After time, the alcoholic has told so many lies that he or she honestly believes the lies and the truth fades into the background.

Sometimes the person will steal if they need money for a drink. This is a problem for any family. There always seems that the money goes fast enough without having someone take it for alcohol. You have to keep your money safe and place somewhere where no one but you knows where it is when you need it. This way of living is not healthy, but if you want to live with the alcoholic, you have to keep the money safe.

You have to make your own decisions whether to stay or leave. With all the lies and deceit, you can become withdrawn and start to doubt yourself. You wonder about your self-worth. Your self-esteem is affected. You wonder if this is all your life is going to be. Are you just on this earth to live with a person that drinks, steals and lies? You need someone to talk to that can reassure you that you are a great person. The person that lives with the alcoholic can become very depressed because of the lies and deceit.

You need to have someone to talk to so that you do not feel alone. If the alcoholic does lie, chances are that your friends and family already know that there is trouble. You need to take care of yourself and forget about everything else if you start doubting yourself. If you feel as if you are losing your mind, you need help. The person that drinks can make you feel as if it is you that is losing your mind and they are not the one telling a lie. This is very hard to take. You need help for yourself.

Guest speakers make appearances at Al-Anon group meetings. Family members and even alcohol counselor take time to visit the Al-Anon meetings to discuss issues that the group has with anything. They can explain things to you that may help you understand why this is happening to you. They are supportive and will not tell you that this is not about you. They know this is about you as well as the alcoholic. They tell stories and share everything they know about the disease with the group. They can help you cope with living with someone you love that has a drinking problem.

Survivors of alcohol disease speak to you. This can be a sad group meeting. Sometimes life does not work out the way you want it to, no matter how hard you try. Survivors of alcoholism tell you there stories. They share with you stories about their families and how they hurt their families and how they feel now. You will here stories about how they loss their families because of the disease. It can be a saddening story, but it helps you understand. They are honest and speak the truth to you. This is something that you might not be used to hearing from the alcoholic in your life.

You learn from each other. When you join Al-Anon, you have the opportunity to talk about your life living with a person that drinks too much. You can hear others talk about things that happen in their lives. This lets you know that you are not alone. Each person in the group has a chance to talk if they want. You are not pressured to talk, but the option is always there. At first, you might just listen, but then you will want to tell your story and people will listen. It will not be like talking to the alcoholic that never hears you.

Support groups are the only way to make it. If you try to go it alone, you can create your own health issues. Al-Anon is confidential and no one is going to say anything outside of the group. You can ask for help. You need help. You cannot live with an alcoholic without support. It is not healthy for yourself or any children you may have. You need to hear what others do to survive an alcoholic friend or family member. You are not alone and you have to remember that.

You learn how to handle the alcoholic. Some people that drink can become violent or disruptive. You need to have an outlet and Al-Anon gives you that outlet. You can talk about the problems and ask others for ways to handle the situation. You can try to go without a group to help you, but if you have nowhere to vent, you maybe inclined to vent to the alcoholic, which could aggravate any already bad situation. The group can help you. They can make suggestions that might help you.

If you are living with an alcoholic, you need some support that cannot come from family and friends. You need a group such as Al-Anon, where everyone there is has a friend or family member that is just like yours. They can offer you support and advice, which will be positive and not negative. The group has guest speakers that might even include reformed alcoholics and their families. This is where you hear about the other side of the spectrum. You hear how an alcoholic feels after he or she has received help and quit drinking. You hear what their families have to say. This helps you.

If the alcoholic is not a mean drunk, you can offer love. This of course depends on the mood of the alcoholic when he is drinking. Some alcoholics are mellow drunks, but even the mildest mannered alcoholic can switch moods just like that without warning. It can be like a roller coaster. One minute they can be sweet and loving and the next screaming at you because you said something that they did not like. This is a pattern with most alcoholics. You never know what you can say or do. It can change from day to day or even minute to minute.

When the alcoholic is not drinking, engage in conversation and try to touch on the drinking. This is the only time you have to discuss drinking. In most cases, they will tell you that they do not have a problem. They do not see it the same way that you do. You could point out a few things that they do when they drink and hope that they remember. You can tell them how it makes you feel when they have to drink all the time. It probably will not help them, but it can help you.

Explain that you want to care about them and do not want to see something bad happen. You can pour out your feelings and at least let them know how you feel, but chances are, they will only quick drinking for a few days and then start hiding it from you. This is common with alcoholics. If they know that you do not want them to drink, they will find ways to do it and hide it. It would not be uncommon to find empties in cupboards, down in the basement or out in the garage.

Talk about the future and things you would like to do. Make it clear that you want to enjoy a life with them, but you want them to be around for it. Make it clear that you are not really happy with the ways things are, but you would like to help make a change. Never tell them that they have to change, make it a change for both of you. You may not need to change, but telling them that is not going to mean a thing. You have to tell them that you will change with them.

Explain some of the health risks that you discovered. This may be one thing that could help. If they do not want to die at a young age, they may think about what you have to say. Of course, if they do not feel as if they have a problem, you could be talking to deaf ears. You can still try. Maybe if they see or feel some symptoms, they will think about what you said.

Try not to get upset or yell. Engage in a light conversation and if you feel yourself getting upset, take a moment to collect your thoughts. The last thing the alcoholic wants to do is listen to you yell at them. If you do not walk away and calm down, they might just leave and find somewhere to drink. This will defeat the purpose of your talk. You have to be on eggshells when you live with an alcoholic if you want to help them. You can be caring when you talk, but do not expect that in return from the alcoholic. That may come over time.